Proud, selfish mother of a strong little fighter

I recently came across a post on a Moms group, where a fan wrote this:

There is one thing that really bothers me, why parents would bring a child into the world KNOWING that they child will never have a normal quality of life. Having to get heart surgery's, missing limbs, organs on the outside, blind, deaf, why would you do that to your kid? So they can sit in a hospital most of their childhood getting surgeries, and getting pricked and poked, some children not being able to KNOW what is happening to them because they can't see and/or hear! WHY? So you could be selfish is why. SELFISH. SELFISH

This person posted anonymously, and that's fine. They can hide behind their opinion. But I don't mind announcing mine to the world! And yes, you can know just who I am! I am Serina Lindsley, proud mother of Sadie Mae Lindsley, and will stand fierce competitor to anyone who would try to harm my children, physically, emotionally, or otherwise!

My daughter was diagnosed at 12 weeks gestation with a condition called Omphalocele. Also called Exampholos. This condition is essentially a weakness of the abdominal wall in development that prevents any number of organs from sealing inside the baby's body. In my daughters case, her liver and intestines were outside of her body at birth.

When we were informed of her condition and all of the complications that could go along with it (Holes in the heart, brain, Trisomy 13, 18, 21 being the most common.)  and we told the doctors that we would be keeping her no matter what.

She is now laying next to me as I write this squealing away and playing with her toes. (Really adorable, in fact) And man, is she ever a happy baby! (AND WORTH EVERYTHING THAT WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH TO GET HER HERE AND KEEP HER!) She did better than anyone could have ever expected, having surgery at 25 hours old to correct her condition (Which, in her case was isolated, meaning she had no other accompanying complications) Next month, she will be having her final surgery to seal up her muscular wall, and we are SO excited for her!!!

Her prenatal care team at Minnesota Perinatal Physicians, the staff at the Mother baby center in Minneapolis and the NICU and ICU staff were amazing and so supportive in helping to care for her and get her better! And, of course, her surgeon, Dr. Feltus has been amazing, and we are SO happy and honored to have such an amazing surgeon caring for our daughter!

Our little Girl is happy, and healthy and we could not be more proud. So in response to that poster, and I say this not only on behalf of my daughter, but every other child, adult, (miracle) that was born with any kind of complication, anything that they have had to fight through, and their amazing parents, that have fought with them and seen the beauty of their lives... this is what I have to say:

This poster is talking about MY little girl... Like her life is not good enough to live just because of her complications. Well, here are my thoughts on this post -

IGNORANCE. Ignorance is the ugly shadow looming in front of you, blinding you from truth.
Normal? What is normal? I guarantee we have very different definitions of normal. For example, I don't think that it is normal to give up on your child just because they will have struggles. My daughter is, and will always be a strong person! And she will always have a strong loving army that she will call her family to back her up. This is my idea of normal. Watching my beautiful girl live her life the way she wants to. Knowing how blessed and loved she is. Knowing that she can achieve anything she sets her mind to... This will be her "normal"

And so what if she would have required heart surgery or one of these other conditions? If I were told tomorrow that I had to have heart surgery, or chemotherapy, or any number of things to live... If I had lost limbs, or had to use a wheel chair to get around... I would choose life. And I would know that the important people in my life would stick around. Why would I not offer that same chance at life to my child?!

My daughter is, and will always be a strong person! She will always know how loved and wanted she is. She will triumph over her "rough start" and her surgeries and she will be a stronger person for it. So, you don't think we should have let her live? Well tell that to her! Tell her when she is a happy child running around and playing that she should not have been given her life because of what she had to go through in her younger years. Tell her when she graduated from High School that I am a selfish and horrible Mom for choosing to let her live when we found out about her condition. I would love to hear what she has to say! Her scars will forever be a part of her story, scripture of her battle for her life. And she is worthy of every breath she takes. So ask her some day if SHE thinks that we did the right thing in choosing to let her live.

Maybe I am selfish for wanting her. For loving her, and having the desire to give her the best life that I can.

But hey, who am I to talk. I will let her decide. Right now as she's sitting in my lap and happily going between munching away on my hand and playing with her toes. I think I have a good idea of what she would say.

She's not done yet, in fact she will have another surgery next month. But look at her little smile, and just try to justify depriving her of the opportunity to feel the joy that caused that smile. Because of the fact that she will have some struggles? My girl is a warrior! Champion of her own life. Staring her struggles straight in the face and defeating them one by one.

I pray that the person that posted this will one day have the opportunity to surpass the dark shadow of ignorance that is blinding them. If only you had a light as beautiful and powerful as my daughter...

Bucket List

Every time I reach the end of the year, I start thinking back on all of the fun things that our family has done that year... And then I just can't help but think about the load of things that we've missed. 

Even though we did so many fun things, we left out a lot of things that I would have liked to do with my children. So for next year, I have compiled a bucket list of all of the things that I would like to do by the end of the year. Even the little things!

I plan out everything and I am certainly the queen of check lists, so I'm really not sure why I have never thought of this before. I'm quite certain I will not get to every item on my list as it is resonably lengthy, but it will make a great guide for the days that I just can't think of what we should do, or if I want to do something really special with the kids. 

So, here is my 2014 activity bucket list for the kids!!! If ever anyone is looking for a fun activity to do with the kids, I hope this helps! :)

• Fly kites on the beach
• Go camping
• Go Ice skating
• Go snow tubing/ sledding
• Make Home Made cookies together (And enjoy them together!)
• Make a living room fort and camp out
• Go see a movie
• Go bowling
• Go to the Zoo
• Go to the Science Museum/ Children's Museum
• Make a chocolate chip pancake breakfast together (And don't cringe when it gets messy)
• Go to Underwater World
• Go to a fair
• Go to a water Park
• Visit the Ocean
• Watch the sun rise
• Watch the sun set
• Go to the Apple Orchard
• Go to the Pumpkin Patch
• Do face Painting
• Have a picnic and day out at the park
• Go to a parade
• See a fireworks Show
• Play out in the rain and/or splash in puddles just for the fun of it
• Make a time capsule with pictures, treasures and letters or notes 
• Play with Sparklers
• Go on a nature hike
• Visit a petting farm
• Go out for ice cream(Or better yet, MAKE IT!!!)
• Go to a rodeo
• Go on a pony Ride
• Swimming at the pool or beach
• Make snow globes
• Roast hot dogs and s'mores over a camp fire
• Make and play with play dough
• Sensory tub with kiddie pool
• Make a play with a slip’n slide
• Plant sunflowers
• Play with bubbles
• Bake goodies
• Helps someone in need
• Tie dye shirts
• Make a story book with each of them
• Breakfast and cartoons in bed
• Stories at the library
• Water balloon fight
• Go fishing
• Make home made popsicles and enjoy!
• Have a puppet show
• Play dress up
• Make bird feeders
• Play mini golf
• Play in a sprinkler
• Sidewalk Chalk
• Do puzzles
• Make a family video
• Catch bugs/butterflies. Fish in nets
• Decorate cookies
• Visit a nature center, do their activities
• Make ice cream sundaes and root beer floats
• Rake leaves and jump in them
• Build a snow man
• Have cocoa and cookies and stories
• Make paper snow flakes
• Paint the snow with color spray
• Make home made apple cider and enjoy together!
• Make snow angels
• Have a snowball fight
• Lay out and watch the stars
• Rent a movie and make popcorn - Family movie night!
• Paint together
• Make a snow slide and ride it
• Blow bubbles in the winter to make ice bubbles
• Make a sugar cube "Ice Castle"
• Make a ginger bread house, and ginger bread men
• Make sure they know how much I love them… EVERY DAY!